Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Gales of Change

Now that Christina has posted about her situation, I'm free to write about it also. If you read her blog ( you know that her marriage of thirteen years is over. This came as a complete surprise to her, as well as us, and the shock of that cannot fully be conveyed. There was no time to prepare for the bad news and its ensuing pain.

It feels like an unexpected death in the family. It creates that "I'm on the verge of throwing up" feeling in the pit of my stomach. It takes me to a place I never thought I'd be.

I realize that many parents have to watch their children go through the devastation of divorce and that it's never easy. But John and I are in a different situation than most. For the past four years we have shared a multi-generational home with Christina and her family. John built the lower story into our dream home, where we planned on living until we died. Instead, it's the kids' marriage that has died.

Because of the change in her financial situation, Christina will no longer be able to afford to live upstairs. And we certainly don't want to live here without her. Ashberry Lane is more about the people than the locale. Our piece of Eden has been changed by the fall.

So not only do John and I have to watch our daughter and her kids go through this change in every part of their lives, but our future is drastically changed too. We will be putting Ashberry Lane on the market and looking for new housing in whatever nearby community Christina moves to. We won't share a house, as we'll never again find a place like this, but will live close by.

My friends have gathered around to lend support as I walk through this painful time. Everyone is so shocked by what has happened to Christina and how it is going to impact our lives. I have held on to the fact that God has not been surprised by this. He is still in charge, still in control. He will bring beauty from ashes and restore our joy. He has lessons to teach us, character to build. I want to accept this with an open heart and not waste the suffering.


Robin Johns Grant said...

For some reason, I have your blog entered in my blog reader, but not Christina's. So I hadn't heard about this. I'm so sorry! I've been through two similar divorce situations with my family, and it's devastating. Sometimes when a person goes for a divorce and says "It's my life," I don't think they realize all the lives they're affecting.

Anonymous said...

So very sorry. Our hearts go with you as you head east of Eden.


Judy Gann said...

Sherrie, I'm praying for you as well as Christina. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is: :(
Love, Jeanine